Here’s an ethical issue and Jewish source response:

Case

Fifteen-year-old David had been caught shoplifting.  When David’s parents’ friends mentioned to them that they had to take some responsibility for David’s actions, they retorted that as Jews, their responsibility ended with David when he became a bar mitzvah (Son of the Commandments.  At age 13, boys in the Jewish tradition become legally responsible for mitzvot (commandments) and for civil matters.  Although general society still recognizes a fifteen-year-old as a minor, Judaism says that David is legally responsible and is independent at the age of thirteen.  Being good Jews, the parents say that they no longer are responsible for David,  The father even recalls reciting the blessing absolving himself of David’s future sins.  

Answer

Is a parent responsible for the actions of a post bar/bat mitzvah child/?

[a] From the Jewish perspective, does a parent bear some responsibility for a post bat or bar mitzvah teenager?  It is certainly true that a child over the age of thirteen is recognized as an adult in Jewish law, and is responsible for his or her actions.  This teen now bears the responsibility and consequences for his or her judgments that lead to his or her actions.  This is made public when a parent recites the blessing at the bar or bat mitzvah ceremony.  “Blessed be the Eternal … Who exonerates me from the sins of this one (child).”  However, we will see that although the child is responsible, the relationship between a parent and child (and thus the parent’s responsibility for the child) is not severed when a child becomes a bat or bar mitzvah.

[b] Even after becoming a bar or bat mitzvah, the mitzvah to honor (and listen to) one’s parents continues throughout one’s life.  In addition, if a child continues to live in a parent’s home (the situation with most teenagers today), Jewish law continues to attach a legal responsibility by a parent for a child.  For example, a lost object found by such a child belongs to the parent and not the teen.  That act of a child living in the parents’ home gives the parents some responsibility.  (Talmud, Bava Metzia 12b and Shulchan Aruch, Chosen Mishpat 270:2).

[c]  The Talmud (Kiddushin 30a) also brings an argument about the optimum age at which a parent has maximum effect on a child.  One opinion is that this takes place between the ages of 16-22, while the other opinion holds that it is between 18-24 years old.  This clearly shows a belief that parents continue to have great influence upon post bar and bat mitzvah children.  In fact, according to Rashi’s commentary on that passage, a parent’s impact at these ages is even greater than before.

[d]  In yet another passage (Shabbat 54b), Judaism holds an adult responsible for all the sins that he or she could have prevented in his or her household but did not prevent. Therefore although David must certainly take responsibility for his act of shoplifting, his parents also continue to bear some responsibility as long as the teen lives in their home.  

Joel Grishaver, “You Be the Judge 2”, pgs. 40-41

Used with permission from Joel Grishaver