Here’s an ethical issue and Jewish source response:

Case

Jamie knows that it is wrong to speak about other people, especially in a negative sense.  But her friend Julie constantly talks about people and “badmouths” other girls in their class. Julie doesn’t really pay attention when Jamie talks about others, but she never really does anything to stop Julie from saying these things either.

Answer

Is it improper to hear someone speak badly about another person?  Must you do something to stop them from speaking negatively about others?

[a] In Judaism, Lashon Ha-Ra (speaking badly about another person) is a sin, even if what is said is true.  It is not only clearly forbidden in the Torah: “You shall not gossip among your people” (Leviticus 19:16), but is considered worse than idol worship (Midrash, Yalkut Shimoni, Tehillim 3:621).  We know this from comparing two stories in the Torah.  On the one hand, when the Jews sinned by creating and worshipping the Golden Calf, they were not severely punished.  However, when the spies came back and badmouthed the land of Israel, having lost faith in God, the entire nation was punished by not being able to enter the Promised Land.  The next generation would inherit the Land of Milk and Honey instead. 

[b] Lashon Ha-Ra is also equated with the three “worst” sins in Judaism: murder, idol worship and sexual immorality, combined (Maimonides, Hilchot Deot &;3).  The power of speech makes people God-like.  When we use it for good purposes, we are like the Creator of the universe, as Pirkei Avot 5:1 reminds us: “By ten sayings was the world created…”  God created the world through the spoken word, and by utilizing the spoken word we can create a meaningful life.  As it says in Psalms 34:13-14: “Who is the person that desires life and loves many days, that he/she sees God?  Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from guile…”

[c] Are all of the above sources about the speaker?  What about the listener?  The Torah gives us a clue: When Miriam speaks badly about her brother Moses, it says that “Miriam and Aaron spoke…” (Numbers 12:1), but the verb itself is singular.  Although the words were physically spoken by Miriam, the verse implies that Aaron also said the words.  Why?  In order to teach us that one who hears evil words (as Aaron did) is also guilty and as punishable as the one who actually spoke the words (as Miriam did).  While it is true that the speaker receives a far worse punishment (as in the case of Miriam and Aaron), one who listens to Lashon Ha-Ra is punished nevertheless.

[d] If no one would listen, then no one could speak any Lashon Ha-Ra.  Thus, Jamie should not remain quiet when Julie speaks Lashon Ha-Ra.  Rather, she should either ask Julie to stop speaking about others, or she should walk away. 

Joel Grishaver, “You Be the Judge 2”, pgs. 90-92

Used with permission from Joel Grishaver