Here’s another ethical issue and Jewish source response:

Case

Aunt Bertha had a hard year.  She had to borrow money from almost everyone in the family.  She owed maybe $10,000 to various family members. All of a sudden her business picked up, she began to make money again and she began to repay her debt.  Then all of a sudden she sent Debbie a check for $250 for her twelfth birthday (where usually family members got $25). Debbie was concerned. She knew about Aunt Bertha’s financial troubles.  She called Aunt Bertha to ask if the check had been made out for the right amount. Bertha told her, “I am having the best year, my dear, and I wanted to do something nice for you.” Debbie was concerned Bertha still owed thousands of dollars to members of the family.  She asked her father if she should keep the money for the sake of shalom bayit (good feelings and peace in the family) or return it and ask her to just give $25 a year until she could pay everyone back.

Answer

Aunt Bertha owed a lot of money to members of the family and still gave Debbie a too-expensive birthday gift.  Should it be returned?

[a] In the Talmud (Bava Batra 74a) Rabbi Papa and Rabbi Huna ben Joshua have an argument.  Rabbi Papa believes that the repayment of a loan is a mitzvah. Rabbi Huna believed that it is just a legal obligation.  While most opinions agrees with Rabbi Huna, the bottom line is that (1) anyone who does not pay back a loan is considered wicked, and (2) when no period is stated in the loan, one should begin repaying it after thirty days.

[b] Encouraging Aunt Bertha to pay back her loans as quickly as possible is the right thing to do.

[c] However, the Torah is also concerned with human dignity.  In the Midrash we are told: “Everytime you embarrass another person, you make God less.  Everytime you make another person feel smaller, you make God smaller in the world, because people are created in God’s image” (Genesis Rabbah 24.7).

Therefore, to try to follow both commands Debbie must find a way of refusing the overly large gift without making Aunt Bertha feel bad.

Joel Grishaver, “You Be the Judge”, pgs. 48-49

Used with permission from Joel Grishaver